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15 Ways to Spice Up Your Marriage

Marriage is one of the most cherished establishments in the world. To have someone to hold onto, love, and be by your side is a life-changing experience that many of us want. You long for it, crave it, and pursue it. Once you get it, however, you become comfortable, and being comfortable can be tedious. Becoming comfortable is an easy way to lose that spark. It becomes critical that you search out ways to spice up your marriage to keep the love alive.

You may notice that you stop trying to learn more about your partner and start falling into a routine. There is nothing wrong with routine, and most people thrive with one. However, the same routine begins to take away inspiration and creativity.

Today is the day to learn ways to break out of that routine and comfort. If you’ve been looking for ways to break out of your same routine and spice up your marriage—you’ve come to the right place!

Be Spontaneous

Let’s talk about the enemy of routine–spontaneity. Just saying “I love you” every day may not be enough. It’s time to change it up a little.

Even small gestures of spontaneity can spice up your marriage. Gestures such as cooking dinner, unplanned walks at the park, last-minute picnics, planning a surprise trip, or trying something new can be a small thrill that your partner (and you!) desperately need. There are a variety of ways to introduce some spontaneity in your marriage that don’t take a lot of time.

The entire concept of spontaneity is to introduce excitement, adventure, and unexpectedness in your marriage. Small things go a long way. When you first fell in love, you were mesmerized at how your significant other swept you off your feet and made you feel special. Finding spontaneous date ideas, being spontaneous, and changing the routine will give you that feeling again.

Explore Your Town

A great way to spice up your marriage is to get out of your house more often. Let’s talk about exploring your town. This is a way to spice up your marriage that does not require much other than taking the bus, driving, or walking to a new area that you’ve never explored.

Plenty of people live in amazing towns with so much to offer besides the main attractions. People focus so much on the main attractions that they forget about the small ones, the backbones of the town. Go explore your town together and experience something new. For example, perhaps there is a restaurant you have not gone to, an ax-throwing place you never tried, or a mini-golf course you pass every day for work. You never know how quickly any of these establishments could become a place where you create lasting memories.

Adventure Together

While on the topic of experiences, let’s talk more precisely about adventuring together. Adventuring together is an exciting thing. You learn so much about your significant other when learning to do something together for the first time. This opens the doors for bonding and connection.

Climb a mountain you have never climbed, hike a trail you have never seen, and go to a town you have never been to before. Adventure outside of your comfort zone together and experience new things that life offers. It’s a great way to connect and have a ton of fun!

Express Your Love

Go beyond the flowers, chocolates, and normal ways of expressing love. Create a unique way of expressing your love for your significant other. You love them, and they love you, so find ways to show it. Even small gestures spice up your marriage. You can give a small heartfelt card, a sticky note with a cute message, or romantic texts or emails.

Every small thing counts. No matter how small you may think it is, your significant other will be over the moon about it. Making someone feel special in the way that they need opens doors to a person’s heart that you have never experienced before. They will feel appreciated and loved, making them want to give that feeling as much as they receive it.

Listen To Them

There is nothing more romantic than being listened to and being heard. If you are ever wondering how to spice it up, this is a go-to way to dig a little deeper and connect on a more meaningful level. In every marriage, people are raised differently, think differently, and react differently. You want your significant other to listen to you and you want the same.

To know that you can come to your significant other and talk to them openly about your struggles at work, at home, with friends, and with family brings joy to your life. You know that your partner will listen to you and open their ears to your problems, concerns, and successes.

Make Your Relationships Number One

Don’t ever let your marriage take a backseat to anything going on in your life. Your marriage is important and a cornerstone of your life. Plenty of couples end marriages because they do not prioritize their marriage and create a multitude of excuses as to why they missed the mark. Couples will say that they are too busy or too tired to put in the effort to keep their love alive. However, this trap will not end well for your marriage. You can prioritize your marriage, but you have to choose to do so.

If you want a marriage, you must fight for it and work for it. Barbara De Angelis said it best when she said, “Marriage is not a noun, it is a verb. It is not something you get; it is something you do; it is how you love your spouse every day.” You cannot let your marriage stay only a noun; it must be a verb. You must work at it every day. It is a full-time job, not a part-time job where you can clock out and then clock back in when you are ready. Commit to your partner every day to prioritize each other, and you’ll see the benefits that mindset creates.

Find New Topics of Conversation

When you get into a routine with your significant other, you sometimes run out of things to talk about. You revisit the same conversation topics that get repetitive and mundane. Finding new things to discuss is a great way to spice up your marriage.

Here are some questions you can ask to learn more about your partner and open other conversation channels.

  • What are you looking forward to the most in the next five years?
  • What is a memory you would like to relive?
  • If you had to repeat one thing you did today, what would it be?
  • What part of yourself are you currently working to improve?
  • What is one song that you could listen to and never get tired of?

These are simple questions, but they get the mind flowing and open channels for other conversation topics. You learn more about your partner and their goals, memories, and aspirations. From their answers, you can ask follow-up questions that bring you down a long road of discovery about each other.

Join Each Other

Your significant other loves to paint, but you do not. Your significant other loves to go outside and play basketball, but you are not a sporty person. This is where joining each other comes into play. Go out and experience their hobbies and enjoyments with them. It does not have to be an everyday thing, but it can be done occasionally to spice up your marriage.

Your significant other will appreciate your efforts. It’s important to keep an open mind when joining each other and remember that you don’t have to be particularly good at the activity to tag along. Plenty of people can fall into the “expert” trap. This is when you feel like you should be an expert at a task even though you just started. Then your pride and ego get hurt because you are trying something completely new and do not want to feel out of place or “look stupid.” It’s okay to look silly and out of place with your significant other. They will cherish the fact that even though you did not know what to do, you still tried to participate in their hobby and enjoy time with them. Attempts like this go a long way to keeping your marriage fresh and exciting.

Casual Touch

Being more physical and intimate does not only mean more sex. Yes, sex is important, and its importance is discussed later in the article. For now, focus on hugs, kisses, and physical touch. When you hug, kiss, cuddle, or hold the hands of someone you love, your bodies release the “love hormone.” The love hormone consists of oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin. This release of hormones makes you feel happy and relaxed and improves your mood. Who wouldn’t want to feel that? Casual touch helps with spicing up your marriage. It’s a small reminder that you are thinking about your spouse if you make a point to physically touch them more throughout the day.

Take Care of Yourself

This is one of the most crucial ways to spice up your marriage. You must take care of yourself mentally, spiritually, and healthwise. Not being in a good mental space, struggling spiritually, or not taking care of your health can push you away from your significant other. You will be so focused on your struggles that you will not make your marriage a priority.

You must come to terms with what is happening within yourself and schedule the time to take care of yourself. If you feel your significant other cannot fully help you with this, then let’s introduce you to the world of professionals. Many professionals went through formal education and training for mental health, spirituality, and physical health who can support you in ways you need. Schedule appointments with them and take the time to meet with them and discover the support you need to make any necessary changes.

Compliments With Precision

As mentioned earlier, telling your significant other you love them every day is great, but sometimes more is needed to make someone feel special. This is where precise compliments come into play. They are new compliments that your significant other has not heard and are unique to them. This will also help you pay attention to the small things you appreciate about your significant other.

Instead of saying, “you look nice in that dress,” change it up and say that you like how the dress accentuates her curves. Instead of saying, “you look handsome when you shave,” switch it up and compliment the closeness of the shave and how it brings out their defined jawlines.

Whether you are a man or woman, everyone likes a precise and unique compliment that makes them feel seen and special. Showing desire and love for one another is a necessity when wanting to have a successful intimate marriage.

Speak Their Love Language

The five love languages that describe how most people want to feel loved include words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, gifts, and quality time. You will need to know your significant other’s love language in order to communicate love in a way that they need and understand. Speaking your significant other’s love language spices up your marriage by making each other happy in the ways you deeply appreciate.

Everyone has more than one love language. However, there is always that main one that brings you joy and happiness no matter what. It’s okay to speak to your spouse and be honest about your love language. They need to know to be more attentive to your wants and needs.

At the same time, you must also be willing to receive the different types of love languages. When people speak about this, they always speak in terms of their significant other doing what is needed for their love language. Now, let’s switch that. Let’s say your significant other’s love language is gifting, but yours is quality time. You may notice that your spouse sometimes gives you gifts. While this may not necessarily be your love language, they are still trying to show you love. It’s okay to sometimes accept love in their language, too.

Naughty Gifts

Of course, spicing up your marriage can also mean tapping into your naughty side. Naughty gifts are a great way to spice up your marriage and have fun. Surprise your significant other with a naughty gift that excites and ignites their imagination for the bedroom. It’s a fun way to reconnect intimately and add in a little more creativity. Many novelty stores offer a variety of gifts, or you can even purchase online for more privacy.

Texting with an S

Sexy texting is a fun way to connect with your spouse and spice things up simultaneously. If you are new to this, it may feel a little strange at first, but it’s a fun way to connect and may even surprise your spouse if you send them a sexy text in the middle of the day. This will send your significant other’s thoughts racing, and their desire for you will increase throughout the day. It can be a long thought-out message or a short quick message. Either way, it’s sure to spice up your marriage.

A quick tip—make sure that your significant other’s contact information, name, and photo are updated on your phone. The last thing you want is to send a sexy message to someone you didn’t intend to!


In the words of Salt-N-Pepa, “Let’s talk about sex, baby.” This is an essential ingredient to spicing up your marriage. Do not let life, work, children, or anything else come in between you and your significant other and your intimacy. Try to make necessary arrangements so that you and your partner can have some uninterrupted time together. Consider spicing up the routine, adding new props, or even role-playing to keep things fresh. Talk to your partner about their fantasies and consider making them a reality.


Now, you have 15 ways to spice up your marriage–it’s time to give them a try! Find out whatever works for you and your marriage and put the plan into motion.

Marriages take work, time, nourishment, and dedication. Diamonds are made under pressure, which is why they are so valuable. Your marriage is a diamond, and you must be willing to go through some pressure for it to stay valuable. As it relates to spicing up your marriage, it is the pressure to get too comfortable with the routine and not introduce some new variables.

Being too static and stuck on routine causes you to get into a rut. This could mean that you do not feel the same passion for your significant other and, ultimately, a weakened connection. You do not want your connection, time with each other, or even intimacy to become another mundane task that you robotically perform. You want things to be passionate, exciting, and enjoyable!

Remember that even the strongest marriages need some spice from time to time. If you’ve discovered that your marriage is struggling under the stress of everyday routine, then you may need outside support. Mental health professionals are there to help you if you need additional resources. Make a point to connect with your partner today. See how they are feeling about the status of your relationship. Open communication is key to identifying concerns and working together to resolve them.

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Raymond Bryant Jr.

Raymond Bryant Jr., MSW, is an aspiring Children and Family Therapist. He currently holds an MSW degree from Virginia Commonwealth University. He has rained for several years in multiple forms of therapy techniques, including CBT, DBT, and SFT, to name a few. He is especially passionate about helping families succeed and preventing children and families from becoming estranged due to the changes in the world. He is a devoted husband and has been married for several years now to my lovely wife. If he is not helping his wife create YouTube videos, then he is usually outside playing basketball and enjoying life. He prides himself on his work as a therapist, community involvement, and communication.

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