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8 Principles How To Motivate Your Husband

These fundamental principles will help you with whatever motivation you try to encourage.

Above all, remember that you are trying to promote a motivation that grows within him. While it may benefit you to have these goals accomplished, it alternates the need to grow roots within your mind and heart.

Following these guiding principles will encourage motivation for the right reasons in a way your husband can sustain.

The internal reward will draw him naturally towards his goal instead of an external force pushing him.

Later in this guide, you’ll learn ways to motivate your husband in specific situations. Read and apply the principles below to any conflict area in your marriage.

Keys to Motivating Your Husband

1. Be Encouraging and Positive

Coaches and bosses sometimes motivate through negativity. If your husband did a sport or had a competitive job place, he’s probably used to some of this. Instead, be his cheerleader. Be careful you don’t sound insincere or shallow. Make a point to remain positive.

Let him know you have faith in him. You should have hope and confidence even if he doesn’t. Please note the steps of his progress and give some positive praise. He may not see how well things have changed since he started, but you do.

2. Avoid Nagging and Constant Reminding

Wife Nagging Husband

Your husband may struggle to stay motivated regularly. He may quit doing something or not put in his best effort. It may be tempting to remind and nag. Avoid making this mistake.

When you notice your husband is off track, just a gentle reminder or comment about how things are going can be enough. When you do this, it feels like a parent-child relationship instead of an equal spouse partnership. You don’t want him to feel you are smothering him.

Say something like this: hey honey, I noticed you hadn’t exercised the last few days. Did you want to talk about it? He might say no but offer a chance to talk about his frustrations and give him your support.

3. Communicate Clearly and Succinctly

Women can be pretty wordy at times. Verbal communication is a strength for women: it comes naturally. Men use words more sparingly and are direct with how they speak. The last thing you want to do is confuse or frustrate him with long-winded comments.

Even if your husband is chatty, he will appreciate clear communication. When trying to motivate him, please don’t add unnecessary verbiage. This can dilute the message you’re trying to give. Be thoughtful to get to the essence of your message.

4. Have Patience and Help When Frustrations Arise

Patient Wife Smiling

As your husband moves towards a new goal, he might find it more complicated than he thought. He’ll make mistakes, feel like giving up, and doubt his ability to keep going.

You know best how your husband reacts when facing an obstacle. He may want to get help solving the problem, or he may want to do it on his own.

Stay patient no matter what your husband wants to do during tough times. You should be the calming voice he needs to hear during his most frustrating moments.

5. Help Him Manage Stress the Right Way

Change is hard and won’t come without stress and frustration. Even the most positive and uplifting goal can make your husband question his decision. If he has tasks that he usually does, offer to help when you can. Think two steps ahead and help lighten his load.

Use your magic fingers and invite him for a nice shoulder rub. Encourage him to go to bed early if he looks tired after a long day. If he misses dinner, days at a time, due to work, bring him a bite to eat.

Sit down with him and ask him how his day is going, his progress, and frustrations. Make sure he knows not to sweat the small stuff. Even if unwilling to share, he might want to blow off a little steam by venting.

As a team, you can work together so he has fewer barriers between him and his finish line.

6. Remind Him of the Rewards

Wife Motivating Discouraged Husband

When running a marathon, the finish line can seem so far away. Help your husband remember what he is working towards.

Is he going for a better job? Losing weight? Or trying to learn a new skill? Mention something good that awaits him once he finishes. Be cautious so this doesn’t come across as pressure.

You intend to generate excitement and an emotional connection to his end goal. Remind him you are excited about whatever it is, as much as he is. Entice him, so he knows you are looking forward to his accomplishments.

Husbands like to see their wives happy, which gives them even more satisfaction that they can please them.

7. Listen Attentively to Him

It may seem like motivating him is only about the things you do or say to make him want to do something. One of the most important things you can do for him is to listen.

Resist the urge to interject with your thoughts. Please sit back and let him get his ideas out. When he stops, encourage him to keep going.

Ask questions that make him go into detail. Acknowledge what he says while leaving the door open for him to continue speaking. It can also help to recap what you heard so he knows you’ve been listening and you understand.

Even if he gets discouraged or says something you disagree with, make sure you listen anyway

8. You May Not Know the Whole Story

Husband Reluctant to Open Up

Keep in mind that your observations are yours only. He may have his own, which he hasn’t explained yet.

He may be facing challenging situations that remind him of previous struggles. He might have a grown-up with mental health problems, something he might not be ready to share with you yet. He might be far more aware of his mortality or age than they used to be.

Taking all the above steps for your motivation plan is very important. As much as you think you know your husband, you might not understand the whole picture. Kindness and respect is the best way to bring out the best in him.

How to Motivate a Lazy Husband

It’s hard to go about life feeling like your partner is lazy. Changing the tide requires a little bit of direction and lots of kindness.

Men like to know they’re taking good care of their families. Treat him like he’s your hero. Give him every opportunity to help you and be your hero.

Instead of waiting for big things to happen, take note of the small ones. Be careful not to sugarcoat things. Sincerely express your thanks when you think it could have an impact.

There are times when you need to be firm with your husband. When something needs to be said, say it directly. Make sure your tone is kind and calm. Say as few words as possible. Follow up with a smile and appreciate him for all he does.

How to Motivate Your Husband to Lose Weight & Exercise

Losing weight is more than just numbers on a scale. The physical, mental, and emotional aspects all play a part.

Major life events like trying to lose weight can feel lonely and frustrating at times.

When you see him down, remind him why he’s doing it in the first place. Maybe he wants to gain more energy, or perhaps he wants to lower his risk of heart disease.

Show your solidarity by being a good example. Eat healthy, nourishing foods and exercise regularly. He’ll see that you stand with him every step of the Way.

Make mealtime a fun time. He might miss some of his favorite but unhealthy foods and is unsure about the new ones. Put some great music on, bring a cheerful mood, and find creative ways to serve healthy meals.

Avoid bringing home unhealthy foods. Save indulgent foods for special occasions. Don’t expect him to resist temptation if unhealthy foods are within reach.

How to Motivate Your Husband to Get a Job

Unemployment can put a strain on any marriage. When stress arises, avoid starting heated arguments about money. Stay calm, use a neutral tone, and focus on why he needs to get a job.

Men gain a sense of purpose from their jobs. Even if it’s not a job they like, they feel good knowing they can provide for their family.

Motivation can be complex when their work life has been interrupted.

Your husband’s spirit is likely more down than he’s willing to tell you. Encourage him to talk about it. Ask him what type of job he’d love to do.

Did he enjoy his last job? Would he like to try something new? Ask these questions to pique his interest.

The thought of starting a new job is stressful and overwhelming. Help him see its adventures—the excitement of starting something new.

He may feel more nervous than excited, but your encouragement can make it easier.

How to Motivate Your Husband in His Career & Get a Better Job

Several decades ago, people stayed in the same jobs for decades. This may not be right for your husband. Changing jobs is a common thing these days.

If you see him bring home stress from work or dread going in every day, it’s time for a change.

Ask him about his work environment. Ask whether he feels it’s the best choice for his planned future. Ask if he likes what he’s doing now. Is there a bigger vision? He may want to do something more but isn’t sure how.

Listen to what he says. If he complains about money or doesn’t like his job environment, let him see how it might be time for a change.

He might be worried about disruptions in the family. Have a conversation about your budget and whether he is willing to move. Talk about things that might change with a new job.

Dream big with him, and let him know you support him.

How to Motivate Your Husband to Grow Spiritually

Spiritual growth is a personal journey. You might wish your husband would move further along in his. You may be tempted to push him along by dropping hints or making suggestions. Understand that this is not how it works.

Be an example and let your spirituality permeate your daily life. Show what it’s like to live by the principles you strongly believe in.

Don’t expect perfection, even if you are trying to show your faith. Your spirituality matters, whether or not things are going well. By being yourself, you can indirectly influence your husband.

Show your husband you respect him, even when he stagnates in his spirituality. He’ll know the difference between internal motivation and external pressure—your respect for his personal choice matters. His journey is his, not yours.

How to Motivate Your Husband to Help Around The House

Both spouses have an equal responsibility to care for their home. However, many wives would like to see their husbands do more chores around the house.

To get your husband more involved, start small. Tell him about the tasks that need to be done. Be grateful when he helps. Show him a to-do list and let him choose what he’d prefer to do.

If he chooses a chore, thank him sincerely and allow him to do it. Let him know if you have a specific time frame, like finishing before supper. Stay quiet and let him do his work. Do not attempt to redo or fix anything he has already done.

You are inviting him to join you in caring for your home. All you need to do is get him into the routine of performing regular tasks. So make it a fun experience for him.

Play his favorite music, be playful, and laugh with him. Enjoy a great time together and make memories in the process. It might take a while, but you’ll have a fantastic time doing it.

Motivate and Build Up Your Husband

Whatever you need your husband to do, he will need your help and encouragement.

You have more power than you are aware of to build him up or tear him down. Your words and actions can bring out the best or worst in him. Be mindful of this fact every single day.

Also, be proud of yourself, dear wife, for being so strong.

‘The fact that you’ve read this far shows your dedication and commitment to your marriage, and your husband should be so proud to have you as a wife. Most women do not even attempt to build their men up. They don’t stick around too long when times get tough.

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Jennifer Tanaka

Jennifer is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with a passion for helping couples struggling within their marriage, relationship, or during the divorce process.

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