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Communication is the Key to Successful Marriage

Communication is the key to Successful Marriage! It is vital in making a marriage work. The day-to-day conversations between married people help sharing our feelings.

They also give opportunity to discuss personal thoughts and goals regularly. Effective communication helps a couple to avoid conflict with partner.

According to Sillars & Vangelisti (2018), in studying relationships, communication is how people construct and sustain relationships.

Prevents Misunderstanding

Sharing our perspectives, opinions, pasts, and present events with each other boosts understanding. This ensures that actions and words don’t surprise us in case of the development of misunderstandings.

Communication helps to make things clear by talking them out together. Previous misunderstandings can be dealt with through explanations.

Opening up reduces the chances of misunderstandings. Confusion is the main cause damaging the relationship. It could be avoided by talking.

Sometimes, people do not mean to hurt a spouse or a partner. Nevertheless, it happens if they do not open up.

The detail may be very minor and still causes negative feeling. For example, if husband does not like watching particular movie with the wife.

Why not share the feeling? Next time, you can choose what to watch together.

According to Marks & Hope, people use different styles to communicate, and a couple needs to be able to understand each other.

It is easier when we know what each of us is dealing with. And that can only be possible through communication.

Wife and husband having a conversation

Trust

Trust ensures that there is engagement between married couple. When there is communication in marriage, openness and connection are assured.

Research shows, when a partner communicates openly, it’s easy to trust them. Unlike when they are defensive and have built walls around them.

Moreover, when a person is open to sharing their vulnerability, feelings, and thoughts, we grow to respect them. It gives us an opportunity to get to know the partner better.

Peace of Mind

Communication helps us to have peace of mind. It’s easier to tell our partners what we want instead of leaving them to guess. Imagine playing a guessing game in a relationship. Assuming can result an error and cause a conflict.

For instance, a husband assumes to bring roses for an anniversary without knowing that her favorite flower are tulips. Well, flowers are always great. Nevertheless, favorite flowers are much better for a present.

Such tiny thing gives a spike in a relationship. Once again, impossible to know without having conversations.

Asking what our partners want directly helps in doing the right thing. Coordination is key in a marriage. It’s enabled by communication.

Talking with a partner helps to save time that would be wasted on fights. Arguments bring only damage to any relationship. Conversations ensure saving time and reducing stress.

The bond that we share is strengthened when we discuss our lives and communicate regularly. It’s important to let your partner know you love for them instead of leaving them to assume you do; fear will lead to harm rather than good in your marriage; hence it’s important to be open (Sasa, 2018).

Trust Building Exercises for Couples
Couple communicating in peace

Marital Satisfaction

According to Lavner et al. (2016), there’s a clear relationship between communication and marital satisfaction. Conversational skills are important in a marriage. Poor communication in marriage often leads to distress and negativity in case of marital issues.

When there is communication, there is connectivity and satisfaction in the marriage. A partner becomes a confidant and shows interest in the relationship.

Discussions between each other about everything lessen quarrels and fights. Expressive communication and being vocal helps in building a connection and is a way to exhibit one’s emotions to their spouse (Raina, 2019)

Growth

In a marriage, a couple can either grow together or apart, which can be affected by how they interact. To ensure the growth with a partner, always keep the communication lines open. In case of any changes with a loved one, it is easier to notice from conversation with each other.

Kathy and Joe had many issues in their relationship. Kathy however, found a way to improve it. And that is of course, by talking everything out, Joe’s evolution changes do not come as a surprise anymore, because they talked as best friends.

Moreover, through conversing with each other, Kathy and Joe got to love each other’s new sides. They grew as a couple instead of falling apart.

Boost the Health

Good communication in a marriage can help to boost the health of the marriage, it becomes more passionate. Partners feel support which is very important in any relationship.

During conversations, partners can express many things, telling about the dreams, and speak freely.

Talking to spouse about personal issues and desires helps reduce stress, which leads to better health. Through talking with a partner, sorts feelings, be calm and not be anxious about future.

Partner feels better knowing that they can lean on each other, and feel loved. Spouses should always remember, communication is the key to successful marriage or any relationship.

Tips on how to Make Effective Communication

Couple Planning Goals Together
Young couple communicating

Listen Carefully

Communication in itself isn’t a problem. However, when done poorly, it could lead to anger and distancing. This especially happens when it’s one-sided.

For it to be healthy and effective, everyone should be allowed to express their feelings and emotions without being told how to feel or react. Try as much as possible not to talk over them.

When you give a person space to express themselves. They will most likely reciprocate that back when it’s your turn.

Be Mentally Present

Most people miss out on what someone is saying because their attention is mainly focused on what they should say next. By focusing on the person talking, you can easily notice the tone of their voice as well as their body language, which too are significant.

Be mentally present while communicating with a partner. You might miss out on something very important in case it was failed to catch. It might cause arguments, conflicts and misunderstandings later on.

Take a Break When Need Be

Sometimes taking a break from a conversation is necessary. When someone is too emotional, it can be pretty hard for them to communicate without causing a fight.

The thing to remember is you need to do it in a way that doesn’t offend the other person. Instead of walking away, simply let the other person know that you need a break and assure them that after cooling off, you will sit down and come up with a solution together.

The explanation is necessary. Silent treatment can leave the other partner feeling ignored. The affect could be very upsetting. Moreover, silence can also cause for the other partner to be aggravated.

He or she can only guess about your thoughts, emotions, and feelings. Once again, always better to talk about the reasons of the actions.

Perfect Timing

If you have been bothered by something and you would like for it to be addressed, choosing the right time to bring it up determines the success of your conversation.

People tend to get irritated easily when they’re preoccupied with an activity such as work or when hungry. The best approach would be to inquire from your spouse when they’re free to spare some time and engage in a conversation.

Scheduling time to have the conversation is essential as you don’t want to put it off for an extended period. When people are forced to suppress their emotions and feelings, they start getting disconnected. Instead of speaking up, they choose to keep things for themselves as time passes.

Don’t Bring Up the Past

Once a conversation is done, it’s time to move on. Refrain from bringing up past mistakes every time someone does you wrong. Instead, focus on the present problem and determine what can be done to address the issue.

Remember, the past is in the past, and there’s nothing you can do to change it. However, a lot can be done to ensure that the current issue doesn’t occur in the future.

Instead of using wording like, this is what you always do, go for words like, you did this or that, and I’m not happy about it, or my feelings were hurt. Try to resolve the issue by using different wording like, we need, lets discuss together, it is us who should. No one likes to be blamed. Do not let your partner feel ashamed or guilty. Always start on a positive note, remember you are a team. There is no you or me, the words are we and us.

Be Intentional About Correcting Your Mistakes

Just because your partner isn’t dwelling on the past, it doesn’t mean you should keep repeating the same mistakes. Of course, you’re only human that you might forget.

However, the big question is, are you hurting them because you forgot or because you already know they’ll forgive you?

It’s your responsibility to address any negative patterns you have. A good example is if your partner doesn’t like it when you interrupt or shout at them, be mindful of these features the next time you’re conversing with them.

If you have a tendency of using humor, proper timing is vital. Although humor can help relieve stress and ease the conversation.

It can make the other person feel devalued and not taken seriously when misused. If you can’t determine when it’s most appropriate, it’s best to avoid humor altogether.

Don’t Tell Someone How to Feel

Reading your partner’s facial expressions is different from telling them how they feel or should be feeling. Instead, it would be best to let them express what they’re feeling or thinking in their own words.

This, too, applies to the one having issues. You shouldn’t hold things in and assume that your spouse is going to figure it out. The truth is, they might not, and it’ll cause you more harm.

If you need something to be done in a particular way or specific behavior to be corrected, learn to express yourself.

Moreover, your sexual life also is involved in this. Healthy sexual communication is key to increasing comfort and intimacy. You want to know how they feel, instead of telling them how.

It’s the key to having a deeper understanding of your partner’s needs as well as their desires. Aside from expressing your likes and dislikes, make sure you let them know when they’re doing something right.

A little praise can go a long way. Keep in mind that practice makes perfect. So, although they might not get it right the first time, they eventually will.

Put Yourself in Their Position

A majority of people don’t take criticism well. As a result, instead of trying to understand what someone is saying, they get really defensive. Sometimes, the most appropriate thing to do for your relationship is to respond with empathy.

Take some time to really think and understand what they were saying and see if there’s any truth in it. In many cases, both parties might have played a role.

Look for what’s your fault and admit it. It often motivates your spouse to look for a solution instead of trying to win the conversation.

Seek Professional Help

Sometimes in marriage, you need to get a neutral person to help you solve the communication issues you’ve been battling with.

If issues in your marriage are causing you to withdraw from others, then it’s a clear sign you need professional help. Again, if the state of your marriage is decreasing the quality of your life and causing you to miss school or work, it’s time to get some help.

Mental health issues like stress, anxiety or depression, agoraphobia, fatigue, resentment, and anger towards your partner and people in your life are indications that you need professional help.

If you’re losing motivation or you’re less excited about things that used to be important to you, it’s time you get some help.

Conclusion

Open communication in a marriage or any is very important since it develops a well-rounded, and healthy relationship. To have a successful marriage requires conversing with each other.

Balancing physical, verbal, and nonverbal communication is important and can help in making sure a partner knows that you value the marriage or just a relationship/

Being open to the partner and honest during conversations plays a big part in a relationship. Communication can be a good investment for married or for any couple who wants to go far together.

It helps to build a happy marriage or any relationship. Talk to each other. After all, communication is the key to successful marriage! To make it work and succeed you need to find the right way to communicate.

References:

Lavner, J. A., Karney, B. R., & Bradbury, T. N. (2016). Does Couples’ Communication Predict

Marital Satisfaction, or Does Marital Satisfaction Predict Communication?. Journal of

marriage and the family, 78(3), 680–694.

Nyarks, A., & Hope, M. M. Impact of Effective Communication in a Marriage.

Raina, K. (2019). Communication in Marriage, importance, and Tips to Improve. Available at:

http://parenting.firstery.com

Sasa, T (2018). Importance of Communicating in marriage. Retrieved from:

https://yen.com.gh/117148-importance-communication-marriage.html

Sillars, A.L., & Vangelisti, A. L. ( 2018). Communication: Basics properties and their relevance to relationship researched. In A. I. Vangelisti & D. Perlman( Eds), The Cambridge handbook of personal relationships(pp. 243-255) Cambridge University

Press: https:// doi.org/10.1017/9781316417867.020

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