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Crazy Wife, What do I do?

Most people occasionally experience mood swings or get emotional over seemingly minor issues. But lately, you’ve thought, “My wife is crazy!”

Erratic and unsettling behavior can occur for several reasons, but your wife may be experiencing something many women experience. It’s just not often discussed.

8 Methods to Deal with a “Crazy” Wife

If your wife’s behavior damages your marriage, then a direct and honest conversation is needed.

Your wife may not recognize how her behavior affects you and your relationship and might feel like she is going crazy!

The following strategies are best suited for dealing with your wife if she seems crazy on the surface but has excellent reasons for acting that way!

The following strategies will get to the bottom of her behavior so that the issues damaging your relationship can be solved and (hopefully) prevented.

Method #1: Communicate, communicate, communicate.

Is my wife crazy?

This can’t be emphasized enough!

If you and your wife haven’t talked in days (or even weeks!), something is wrong. So, talk to her.

Be honest about your feelings. Sometimes you have to initiate conversations. It could save your marriage.

And remember, watch your tone. You’re not starting a conversation to go on the attack.

Explain that you are genuinely concerned about the current situation. Tell her how important marriage is to you.

Admit that you’re not perfect, but you want to be the best husband you can be for her.

Method #2: Remain calm and relaxed.

Try hard to remain rational and composed when your wife behaves in ways you view as crazy.

Losing your temper might be far too easy, but nothing will get resolved if you’re constantly angry. You may never arrive at a resolution unless one of you keeps a cool head.

Method #3: Always remind yourself that you love your wife.

Reassure your wife that you love her and you find her attractive. Do little things to rekindle the romance and passion. You married her to get through the rough and good times, right?

Method #4: Set boundaries and establish some ground rules.

Now that your wife knows the problems, her behaviors create set limits to stop the craziness.

Both of you should agree on these boundaries. When you are the only one setting limits, she might resist your request or become defensive.

The boundaries should respect both of you and your marriage. Your connection must be maintained while taking your traits and preferences into account. 

Method #5: Get check-ups.

Suggest that you get complete physical exams to rule out problems.

If your wife’s hormonal problems, she should also make an appointment with her gynecologist.

Method #6: Avoid name-calling.

This article refers to your “crazy” wife but isn’t a respectful way to address the woman you love.

You might be upset and hurt, but resorting to name-calling or passive-aggressive jabs will only worsen the situation. And it doesn’t show your wife that you care.

Also, avoid saying to others, “My wife is crazy,” because that won’t help the situation. You don’t need anyone’s sympathy.

Method #7: Don’t give up on your marriage.

Can my wife be crazy or we can work it out

The last thing that you should be thinking about is giving up on your wife. She may be “crazy,” but she is still your wife.

Give her the benefit of the doubt. She is the one you chose to marry, the person you promised to stay with for the rest of your life.

If this is the only reason you want to get out of your marriage, you must think numerous times before doing it.

It is easy to step out when presented with an impossible problem. But remember that your wife’s craziness can still be solved.

You have to stay patient with her.

Tell your wife you’re willing to stick it out. Ensure that your wife receives the support and help she needs. Be there for her and let her know she’s not alone.

When she realizes you are on her side, there is a good possibility she will try very hard to work on the marriage, too, and get the help she needs.

Method #8: Get to the root of the problem

Consider when your wife started behaving unusually. When did you start noticing changes in her behavior? Your wife probably wasn’t always crazy.

The most important thing you can do is figure out what is going on with her to strengthen your marriage.

And again – consider how you have contributed to the strain on your marriage.

You’re not responsible for your wife’s crazy behavior, but you can make small changes to turn things around.

Regardless of why your wife is acting crazy, try your best to be patient, understand what she is going through, and talk to her.

Your wife – and your marriage – are worth your time and effort to get to the bottom of what is going on with her.

Is Your Wife Crazy, or Is It Something Else?

You might believe your wife is crazy if she acts more irritable than usual or her moods are all over the place.

One minute she’s smiling, and the next, she’s sobbing or screaming at you. What’s going on?!

Her emotional displays and over-the-top reactions to stress are stressing you out. You need answers – and you need them now!

But the word “crazy” tends to be thrown around cavalierly when it comes to women – who have often been labeled as crazy if they disagree with men!

Some women exhibit crazy behavior, but it’s important to understand there’s a wide range of reasons your wife might be acting crazy – from mental health problems to hormonal issues.

Sometimes guys call their wives crazy if they:

  • disagree with them
  • freak out or explode in anger
  • complain about everything
  • are moody
  • shoes hot flashes
  • has emotional outbursts
  • shows her own emotions
  • pregnancy hormones
  • nagging behavior
  • are physically or emotionally abusive
  • use emotional blackmail
  • use guilt, shame, or blame as weapons
  • are controlling

Perhaps your wife has always exhibited these behaviors, but recently things have escalated.

Problem Seeing Your Wife Crazy

Would you have knowingly married a crazy woman?! Maybe she’s just comfortable with you, and her behaviors have increased because she’s unhappy with the relationship. Yet, you fell in love with this woman and probably wouldn’t have proposed to her if you were unaware of her quirks.

But, probably, your wife hasn’t always acted like this – which is why you’re reading this article.

Something has set her off. So look at the situation from her perspective. What triggers her rage? What does she typically complain about?

If you can, resolve any conflicts that involve your choices.

Furthermore, spend more time with your wife. If it’s a problem with trust, be transparent with your social media accounts, phone, and emails.

If she sees that you are trying, her craziness may subside quickly.

First, reflect on your role in the relationship.

Ask yourself the following questions:

  • Have I been treating my wife fairly and with respect?
  • Have I done anything to upset her?
  • Am I the only one she’s acting crazy with?
  • Did I lie or cheat on her – and she found out?
  • Has she always been this way, and I decided to ignore or minimize her behavior?

Do any of these situations apply to your wife? Take the time to examine your role in the marriage and how you’ve contributed to the relationship breakdown.

If you look honestly at yourself and do nothing wrong, something else is happening.

If yes, your wife might be experiencing perimenopause – 3-10 years before menopause. She is between the ages of 35 to 50. So, she might be on a roller coaster of hormonal changes in her body.

Also, she might have sleep problems, moodiness, headaches, and other physical and emotional symptoms.

She has been under a lot of stress. Perhaps her anger stems from work, her relationship with her family of origin, her in-laws, or other things.

She has a new job or just received a promotion.

She recently gave birth to a baby. Again, look to hormonal changes.

She has other symptoms that suggest she is sick. Aside from medical or marital problems, your wife is probably experiencing regular hormone changes, which can trigger emotional responses. She might not be able to control her reactions easily.

Her “craziness” could be as confusing for her as it is for you – and believe this: she’s not enjoying this experience.

Signs Your Wife Is Crazy

Now, your wife may be treating you in a genuinely toxic manner, or maybe she is mentally ill. Are you dealing with any of the following behaviors? Take a look at the following list.

  1. She bullies you. If your wife doesn’t get her way, there’s hell to pay. She might be controlling or emotionally intimidating. Perhaps she threatens you.

    2. She has unreasonable expectations. No matter what you do, it’s never good enough. Your wife constantly says, “You’re not…
  • romantic enough
  • spending enough time with me.”
  • sensitive enough.”
  • smart enough to know what I want.”
  • making enough money.”

3. She verbally attacks you.
Maybe your wife calls you names or resorts to pathologizing your behavior. For example, she might have a basic knowledge of psychology, so she uses diagnostic terms to criticize you.

Maybe she screams, yells, swears, is sarcastic, humiliates you, exaggerates your flaws, or makes fun of you in front of others.

4. She gaslights. Do you commonly hear:

  • I didn’t do that.
  • I didn’t say that.
  • I don’t know what you’re talking about.
  • It wasn’t that bad.
  • You imagine things.
  • Stop making things up.

Perhaps your wife doesn’t remember things she’s said and done. Just don’t doubt your sanity, perception, or memory of events.

5. Her reactions are unpredictable. Your wife reacts differently to you on different days or at other times. You feel like you’re walking on eggshells and constantly on edge.

6. There is constant chaos. Is your wife addicted to conflict and drama? Perhaps she deliberately starts arguments to avoid intimacy, feel inferior, or attempt to prevent abandonment. She may pick fights to keep you engaged or get a reaction out of you.

7. She engages in emotional blackmail.
Perhaps your wife threatens divorce or ignores you if you fail to follow her rules.

She might withhold sex or affection. She manipulates your fears, vulnerabilities, and weaknesses to control you. Maybe she shames you or intentionally pushes your buttons.

8. She rejects you. She ignores you, refuses to look at or talk to you, or pushes you away.

9. She tries to isolate you. Has your wife forced you to distance yourself from family, friends, or anyone that might be concerned about your well-being?

She might say nasty things about your family or is overtly hostile to your friends.

10. She exhibits signs of a mental health issue. Perhaps your wife breaks down into tears or shows erratic behavior. She has suddenly developed panic attacks or an extremely short temper.

Special Care in Case of Mental Issues

Sometimes physical symptoms might appear. Maybe she is paranoid. Perhaps she is depressed or anxious. In these situations, she might require mental health treatment. In addition, a good idea to ask one of the family members if any genetic factor is present.

Mental health issues require special care.

Try to be kind to her, not use harsh words. If your wife has mental illnesses, show her you are a good guy and can support her.

Moreover, you might need professional help. If you have a wife with any of the above, seek a professional. A Clinical psychologist can usually give an evaluation.

Crazy wife

Mental illness problems should be immediately addressed. Medication and other treatments may be necessary.

You might want to see a marriage coach or couples’ therapist to cope. If you are experiencing physical abuse, contact a domestic violence hotline for support.

Professional help

Moreover, marriage isn’t always easy, but with the proper support and help, your wife’s crazy behavior will end.

Have faith in your wife and the strength of your bond. Keep thinking about the love and affection you have for her.

So, when you say, “My wife is crazy!” consider all the points made in this article – and talk to her.

To get through this rough patch, communication is essential. Work on your family life.

Spend quality time. Do not label your wife a crazy person. She might be perfectly average, but we all have flaws since no one is perfect.

Your wife will appreciate your efforts, and you will no longer believe you have a crazy wife!

Also, you might want to try a couples counselor who can successfully deal with marriage issues. To have a healthier relationship and mutual respect, this crazy wife acts aside.

The point of getting help is to move to figure out why you have such an issue with your wife. There is always a way to find solutions.


You must avoid or work on these relationship problems to save the marriage. No one can tell you what to do. In addition, running away from problems is easy, but a willingness to fix them takes effort. You want to be a guy who pulls away or someone supportive and mature enough to understand that life, marriage, or any other part of our lives is never perfect and requires some work.

Your heart and mind are your best advisors.

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Angela Doel

Angela M. Doel has researched and written about mental health problems that impact relationships, such as navigating divorce, rebuilding relationships, enhancing communication, and overcoming sex addiction. She published The Couples Communication Workbook: Therapeutic Homework Assignments to Foster Supportive Relationships (2020, Between Sessions Resources, Inc.).

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