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Learn How To Deal With An Angry Husband

Dealing with a husband with random or constant outbursts of anger can strain your marriage. Nevertheless, there are many ways to learn how to deal with such a husband. 

If the idea of a conflict-free moment or conversation with your husband sounds like a fairy tale, then please believe it is possible.

Things can improve if you are both committed to working on these issues together. To overcome this behavior, you and your husband must make a sincere effort. 

However, if your safety is threatened, leave immediately. Know that it is never okay for your husband to verbally or physically abuse you.

Best Strategies And Tips For Dealing With An Angry Husband

There are a few times when you need to let small things slide. For instance, if it’s a rare outburst.

However, there are times when you may need to give them a stern warning and hold your ground.

Being kind to one another is essential for staying in love and, ultimately, a happy union.

Outbursts of anger damage the dimension of your relationship, so it is essential that your husband first understand the consequences of this outburst.

With that being said, he may have bipolar disorder.

If your husband always seems angry, irritable, hostile, or maybe little things seem to set him off, this post is for you.

Just know that there are actions you can take to deal with an angry partner.

Consider the following strategies when dealing with an angry husband. 

Use “I” Statements When Dealing With An Angry Husband

If you’re unfamiliar with an “I” statement, it is a powerful way to communicate your message without immediately isolating your listener.

“I” statements are grand because they can help to calm the tone and prevent it from spiraling into a fight.

This is wonderful for your relationship because it will help you focus your attention on a conversation that is productive and going somewhere.

In contrast, “I” statements are the opposite of ” You ” statements.

A “You” statement shifts the focus and responsibility onto the communication receiver and often puts the other person on the defensive.

An effective “I” statement has the following structure…

  1. I feel…
  2. When…
  3. Because…

Consider the following example: “I feel upset when you don’t talk around to my family because it appears you don’t care.”

Use an “I” statement to express how you feel to your husband when he becomes angry.

Encourage your husband to use “I” statements to communicate more effectively.

I statements for dealing with an angry husband

Be Assertive and Respectful When Dealing With An Angry Husband

Please give him a warning and tell him that you won’t tolerate this.

Say, “I’m not your enemy; I know you may have had a bad day, but don’t talk to me like this.”

If you remain silent about his poor behavior, he may believe it is acceptable for him to lash out and continue acting poorly toward you.

Yet, if you challenge his anger with your anger and lash out, then you will likely escalate the situation.

Instead, find a middle ground.

Address his behavior BUT remain respectful and calm.

Manage Your Emotions and Never Add to the Fire

Attempting to control your angry husband will only cause him to become more uncooperative and unresponsive.

Also, you must control your anger as much as possible in response to your husband’s behavior.

The calmer you remain in this situation, the more likely you will de-escalate the situation and ultimately lessen the emotional intensity.

So try to stay level-headed.

managing emotions when dealing with an angry husband

Get to the Root of the Issue

Often, men turn their frustrations into anger and can unintentionally take it out on those around them. If your husband seems angry with you over things that aren’t your fault, consider talking with him after he’s cooled down about what is triggering his anger.

Often, it’s that he’s feeling stressed out or disrespected. And it’s essential you both can acknowledge where that is coming from. This will allow you to have an honest conversation about how to make his and your lives easier.

Consider Outside Help

Although not necessary initially, you may need to consider bringing in another person to help your husband see the error in his ways and change.

I would first recommend confronting your husband calmly and respectfully if his behavior becomes a pattern. 

If he doesn’t listen, consider bringing in some people who will pressure him to change, such as a counselor or a religious leader.

Another reason why you bring in other people is for validation.

Sometimes we’re too close to the situation and can benefit from a third-party perspective.

Also, your husband may be less likely to listen to you if he thinks you’re overly sensitive…which is why a third opinion can help.

counseling for dealing with an angry husband

In Summary, Use These Strategies To Manage Your Angry Husband Effectively

  1. Use “I” statements
  2. Manage your emotions and never add to the fire
  3. Be assertive and respectful
  4. Get to the root of the issue
  5. Consider Outside Help

If your husband is against seeing a counselor, there are other resources you can utilize to ensure your relationship gets the help it needs…

Check out the best marriage counseling books that can be just as effective as a marriage counselor.

We hope this post has made you feel more comfortable and confident when dealing with an angry husband.

Through practice, you will only continue to get better. It must be a joint effort, and both parties want to see change.

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Jennifer Tanaka

Jennifer is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with a passion for helping couples struggling within their marriage, relationship, or during the divorce process.

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