Infidelity is one of the leading causes of breakup in married couples. Both men and women cheat. Such behavior triggers a painful and emotional period in marriage. If both partners agree to save marriage after infidelity, much work requires from both of them.
The process of separating can be daunting and stressful. In order to make a rational decision about your marriage, take some time. A big chance of making mistake could be done during emotional decision making. Save the union or not is a very important matter and should not be done in a rush.
Many factors should be considered. If you get divorced now, is there a chance you will be sorry for a break up later? Are you willing to forgive, go on and make your marriage work? Or you feel like there is no place for forgiveness? Do you want to go on with your life looking for someone else?
Indeed, a very tough decision to make. If you feel like an emotional swing, that is okay. You might feel like you want to work things out one minute and break everything apart another.
You are full of emotions and that is perfectly normal. Emotions can affect out decision making. Many professionals highly recommend to calm yourself down before choosing the path you want to take. Yes, keeping yourself together during such difficult times is hard. That is why you might want to take yoga or try to meditate for your mental health.
What Percentage of Marriages Survive Infidelity?
According to Divorce Magazine, 60-75% of couples with infidelity issues remain together. Not all, but many of these couples no longer love each other. Partners might choose to stay together for many reasons. For example, having kids might play a big role in making such an important decision.
Also, issues with finances might be a reason for staying together. Some do not know how to move on. Many do not want to break the union. Moreover, partners have a desire to still stay together and work things out.
Divorce after infidelity statistics show 20 to 40 percent end up separated.
Different Gender and Statistics
Gender also plays a role in the percentage of marriages that survive cheating. Moreover, 19.7% of couples chose to make their relationship work after a one-night stand. However, 12.7% of couples were willing to remain in their marriage if marriage was a long-term affair. Again, 47.9% of married couples confessed to their affair after six or more months.
Further, the survey showed that 30% of partners in an affair decided to end the affair. However, 27.8% said their partners restricted them from talking to the opposite sex. Male partners had more freedom even after being in an affair.
Their betrayed partners allowed them to go out a few times while avoiding sex. However, betrayed male partners restricted their female partners from socializing with certain friends. Again, female cheaters have their phones constantly monitored by their male partners.
Can a Relationship Go Back to Normal After Cheating?
Many times, forgiving an unfaithful partner feels embarrassing. Some even separate for this reason. Keep in mind, your life matters the most. What others think of you, has no meaning.
Other’s judgment should be the last of your concerns. You are the one who decides to stay with the person or not.
Whether you are the unfaithful or betrayed partner, you likely ask yourself: can a relationship go back to normal after infidelity?
If your partner cheated, try not to blame them quickly. Although, given the situation, it is perfectly understandable if you do blame them and feel angry.
You need to ask yourself a few questions before making a conclusion. How did you treat your partner? Were you honest with each other? Did you commit to the relationship?
After this, you can talk to your partner to understand why they had an affair. Then, you can work towards solving the problem to save your union.
If one of partner isn’t willing to give another chance, it means the union have to be dissolved. Since it takes two partners to save the relationship.
How Long Does a Marriage Last After Infidelity?
Many marriages don’t go back to normal after infidelity. Even after forgiveness, it’s hard for the betrayed partner to earn their partner’s trust. You doubt your partner’s faithfulness despite visiting a counselor and working things out. That’s why some, luckily not all, married people separate years later after resolving an infidelity issue.
According to the American Psychological Association, 53% of married people with infidelity cases divorced within five years despite attending counseling. However, this means that 47% of married people still stick together after infidelity cases.
Most married people do wonder how to save marriage after infidelity. That said, here is a guide on how to save marriage.
Tips how to Save Marriage After Infidelity.
The hurt and pain caused by infidelity take time to get over. Although healing from your partner’s lies can be challenging, you can still find love again and live happily. Luckily, it is possible to save your marriage even after your partner cheated.
Set Some Rules in Your Marriage
The past behavior of a partner could be the reason for infidelity. Such behaviors include drunkenness and spending much time in entertainment areas. However, setting some rules in your marriage can help in being faithful. These rules act as boundaries, especially in solving intimacy issues. This also helps to earn both to trust when at work and day to day lives.
Talk About the Affair
If you cheat and want to save your marriage, you should talk to your partner. Allow your partner to ask you questions because it helps to reconnect. However, don’t rush your partner to forgive, since it takes time to gain trust.
Partners should carefully choose whether to save or dissolve your marriage. Always consider yourself and your partner. Talk about how you feel. The decision you make regarding your marriage affects your family’s future life. The relationship can’t go back to normal if your partner can’t trust you fully.
Talking about the affair can hurt your emotions, but helps to save your marriage. Hence, communication is the key for the relationship to work. Opening up and having conversations about an affair might help both partners.
Here are some questions to ask the unfaithful partner if you wonder how to save marriage after an affair.
• When did the affair begin?
• Which places did you visit?
• How often did you meet?
• Were you involved in sexual activity?
• Is the affair partner married?
• What made you have an affair?
• When last did you meet?
• Have you had other affairs in the past?
• Do you still love them?
Explore Reasons that Led to Unfaithfulness
Saving a union after an affair can be tricky because most couples worry it will happen again. The betrayed partner feels disconnected.
It is crucially significant to find out why the partner cheated. You got to get into the root of a problem. People need explanation of a problem, otherwise, they assume. The assumption could be wrong. Knowing the truth helps to resolve the issue better.
Instead of dissolving the marriage, the betrayed partner should understand why their partner cheated. This helps to gain trust and to feel reconnected. Some of the reasons married people cheat include:
• Falling out of love
• Anger or revenge
• Lack of commitment
• Feeling unappreciated
• Lack of self-esteem
• Increased sexual desire
• Long-distance relationship
Be Accountable for Your Actions
If you are the partner who cheated, be honest and open. It is not a good idea to play games. If you need to save your union after cheating, you must admit making a mistake. Blame games make the situation worse and could lead to separation. You need to show your partner that you’re sorry for your actions and willing to change.
In addition, being accountable for your infidelity helps your partner give you a second chance. This way, the married people can plan how to forgive the partner for the affair and move on.
Moreover, think about your partner’s feelings. The situation is very stressful. The other party is hurt and feeling betrayed. Show that you care.
Work Together and Build a New Relationship
After learning about your partner’s infidelity and why they cheated, you need to work together to rebuild trust. It would be best if you tried putting what you learn from a qualified counselor into practice.
You should learn what you like in a relationship from each other. Understanding each other brings you closer to each other, increasing sexual intimacy. This brings a quick healing process and builds a better marriage.
Work on your marriage if you want to save it. Spend time together, spice up your relationship. Try to make your partner to fall in love with you again. Here are some ideas to make your relationship more interesting.
- Show you care
- Have some fun
- Schedule date nights
- Write a love poem
- Go to fitness club together
- Watch a movie together
- Support the partner
- Show affection
- Spend time outside to have a conversation
Trust is crucial for any relationship to last. If trust is gone, you’ll always think that your partner still has an affair or will again.
This way, the marriage can’t last for longer.
However, if you build trust after infidelity in your marriage, you can live happily for the rest of your life. You might ask yourself if it is even possible to trust your spouse again. It is hard, but not impossible.
Seek Couples Counseling
Marriage counseling is one of the choices to seek professional help. Many of professional therapists are experienced due to handling many infidelity cases. Thus, you are assured of getting better advice to help you reconcile with your partner.
Couples that seek professional marriage help are likely to build a better marriage and live happier lives.
Many couples are willing to solve the problem and build a new relationship. If you want to save your marriage after infidelity, give your marriage another chance. The above guide shows tips on rebuilding trust in a marriage after cheating and lies. Moreover, partners should seek professional counseling and work together to build a better relationship. A lot of couples still stay together even after a partner cheats. Professional counselors are a great help for failing marriages due to infidelity issues. According to Couples Therapy, Inc., 60-80% of couples trust each other and take full responsibility after attending therapy.
If you want to save your marriage after infidelity, overcome all the obstacles, there is work to be done. It is possible to save your marriage after infidelity!