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Is It Okay to Be Friends with Your Ex?

One of the most difficult periods in a person’s life is breaking up, especially if you and your romantic partner have been dating for a long time. You could feel confused if an ex wants to keep the friendship going after the split.

Although this may seem to be an enticing offer, you must consider a number of aspects before determining whether to accept it. Your ex-partner may want to be your friend for a variety of reasons, including:

  • They regret the breakup
  • Realizes the benefits of your relationship
  • They are afraid of change
  • Desires to be friends with benefits
  • Wants to come out as the best one

Depending on the grounds for your split, ensure you assess the impact of being friends with your ex. You can take into account the following factors when you make your decision.

You Want Companionship More Than You Need Sex

If you’re still remembering your hot moments together, it’s more likely a formula for a garbage fire than a solid partnership. There is no censure here, and there is nothing wrong with reminiscing about happy times in your sexual relationship. You will eventually injure yourself if you attempt to keep the door open after a relationship that ended for obvious reasons.

We’ve all heard the tale of the couple that divorced yet continued to sleep together, whether we told it ourselves or heard it from a friend. In the short term, it may be sinfully sweet and even exhilarating, but it usually ends in a rift.

You No Longer Have a Romantic Feeling

The illusion of romance has faded like a beautiful sunset. You recall the past lovingly but do not cling to it. The mental re-enactment of previous tales has ended. There’s no desire for more emotional support.

It may be reassuring to be friends with your ex due to unresolved romantic desires, but doing so may develop into an agonizing waiting game with no apparent end. It also essentially prevents you from dating more possible partners.

If you still have and want to stay friends with your ex, don’t feel terrible about it. It may seem that these sentiments will never go away, but the best treatment is time and distance apart rather than entering into a platonic friendship. Also, keep your focus on yourself. It will take some time, but things will improve.

The Relationship Ended Amicably and Without Drama

Even if it didn’t have to be like a scene from “The Notebook,” your separation should have been nice enough to warrant reconciliation. Regardless of the hard feelings in the past, you must understand and trust each other’s traits.

Just be certain that the split was a result of a lack of romantic compatibility and not by anything more severe. You likely tossed away some of their old items in your grief. Friendship might exist as long as the connection is not harmful or poisonous.

Although people do change, it may be challenging to gauge a former partner’s commitment. Never return to a harmful setting, but retain an open heart.

You Have Totally Forgiven Each Other

Have you both forgiven one other for the occasions when things didn’t go as planned? If you don’t, you’re opening Pandora’s box. Forgiveness takes time. People, even those with the best intentions and emotional intelligence, may do harm to others. Finally, we are all just humans.

Consider how a wave of unresolved anger could make it more difficult to maintain a platonic connection. Do you have a shovel in one hand and are ready to unearth the hatchet, or have you buried it for good? Consider how it feels to be in their presence and what feelings it may elicit.

It Doesn’t Bother You That They Could Date Someone Else

Imagine this: You’re surfing social media during a calm mid-lunch break when you come across a picture of your ex cuddling up to someone else. Does your chest become so tight it makes you feel like you’re about to skydive? You can learn everything you need to know from this body reaction.

Many of us have felt sick to our stomachs when we haven’t moved on from a serious relationship and saw them with someone new. If the prospect of them being with a future partner makes you uncomfortable, you are not yet ready. Because all wounds fade with time, you shall triumph.

You Are Not Playing Mind Games on Social Media

The rise of social media makes it much more difficult for people attempting to move on after a split. Most of us have questioned, out of curiosity, what they are up to on their profile.

While a modest dopamine boost from these activities is unquestionably good, excessive focus on digital connections is dangerous. It suggests that you need space above anything else.

The Two of You Are at Peace After a While

Immediate friendship after a split is too ambitious and difficult to digest. After breaking up, the best course of action is to spend some time apart, but I cannot speak for every relationship in history.

As you gradually soften the situation, you’ll have time to contemplate and allow bad feelings to go away. Having interwoven social lives with your ex can be a paradox, but it’s still solvable.

You Should Respect Yourself

If you often feel wounded, mistreated, or disrespected in your relationship, staying friends may lead to more of the same behavior. Avoid returning to such an unpleasant relationship and fight for yourself. Remember that previous conduct is a good predictor of future behavior and set your boundaries.

Don’t Succumb to Their Egocentric Desires

If you suspect your ex is merely attempting to be your buddy and benefit from being a part of your life, you should dismiss them. You are no longer required to share expenses or property with them. Reconciling with your narcissistic ex will just add to your stress.

When All of Your Friends Are in The Same Group

If you and another person have many mutual friends and will inevitably cross paths, speak to them to stay friends and alert your network. This could prevent awkward moments while you’re with your ex-partner and lessen the unease among your buddies. You may also avert a rift among your friends by not pressing them to select a side.

Most individuals find it tough to break up with someone. However, if you left your romantic relationship gently, your ex may wish to stay in contact. It is important to consider if you want to stay in contact. Although being nice may provide a sense of closure for some, it may reopen previously healed wounds for others. Set limits if you want to remain friends with them, so it doesn’t interfere with your present or future relationships.

Frequently Asked Questions

People also ask:

Is it OK to Be Friends with Your Ex After a Breakup?

You should consider why you wish to continue interacting. If you rely on your ex as a backup, communicating with them is likely to harm your current relationship.

Also, consider the nature of the relationship. For example, if you were profoundly wounded in a relationship and you’re no longer willing to communicate with them, you might refuse to become friends. However, not all breakups have to be spiteful, and two individuals may always retain a close connection and a healthy relationship.

Can Ex-Lovers Just Be Friends?

Yes, it is quite possible to be just friends with an ex. Depending on the circumstances and persons concerned, it may or may not be a good idea.

Is it Healthy to Keep in Touch with an Ex?

Maintaining contact with your ex without being in the correct frame of mind just helps to perpetuate the addictiveness of the split. As a result, it is only beneficial to reconcile with an ex once you have developed emotionally.