Home » Dating » 20 Genuine Signs He Loves You & Isn’t Just in Lust [A Must Read!]

20 Genuine Signs He Loves You & Isn’t Just in Lust [A Must Read!]

We have all been in that space in a relationship where things are moving along well, and you might start to think, “This thing we have going is pretty great.”

Maybe, just maybe, you might even feel like there is love brewing. Which, let’s be honest, is equally anxiety-provoking and exhilarating.

Then, the real fun begins when you start wondering if he loves you. You may begin realizing how you feel but find yourself wondering how he actually feels.

Yes, things seem good. Maybe even really good.

But, that elusive “L” word might not have been dropped yet, and wondering whether he loves you or not might leave you feeling like your stomach is floating into your throat.

You enter this dance, gauging his movements and trying to anticipate those moments where you can meet vulnerability with vulnerability and profess your true feelings for each other.

While this dance might have you ready to hide in a dark room for a while as you breathe into a paper bag, have no fear! There are definitely signs to be aware of that can indicate your man is in love.

He may not be saying it yet, but if he is showing some of these signs, there is a good indication he has fallen for you.

1. He Asks to Spend Time With You

Couple Walking Dog Together
If he consistently goes out of his way to spend more and more time with you, it may indicate that his feelings are growing.

When you are dating, you are sharing your life with someone. Chances are, you are spending quality time together, which is great and important in any relationship.

Sometimes, time together can become routine (i.e., we eat dinner/lunch together several days a week, we go to the gym together, on Fridays we have a date night, etc.).

Those rhythms of a relationship are wonderful and valuable.

If your significant other begins breaking away from the routine and asks to spend time with you, it shows he really enjoys seeing you and being with you.

Even if it is something small like asking to go on a walk or bringing you coffee before both of you go about your day, it shows he wants to soak up any time with you he can get.

2. He Introduces You to His Friends

A person’s close friendships influence what they think and how they feel about the person they are dating.

I knew a guy from college who was in an on-again-off-again relationship for several years. When he and his ex broke up and got back together, his friends were so frustrated with him.

Eventually, this guy broke up with his ex for good, and all of his friends were relieved. He ended up dating a new girl and was really starting to like her.

After dating for a few months, he finally introduced her to his friends, and he said one of them looked at him later that evening and said, “Marry her.

About 18 months later, he did just that. His friend said something he was already beginning to feel, which is why he wanted them to meet her.

If your man wants you to meet his friends, he sees your relationship as something special and worth sharing with other important people in his life.

3. He Introduces You to His Family

Man Introducing Girlfriend to Family
Being introduced to your significant other’s family is a classic sign that the relationship is progressing towards the big L-word.

Everyone’s family situation is different. Whether it is blood-related family or chosen family, everyone has those people in their life whose approval is critical to them.

The moment you meet a significant other’s family is pretty big.

When this happens, the subtext is, “Hey, this person is really important to me, and I want to be with this person. I want you to like/love them as much as I do.”

If he wants you to meet his family, it not only shows he thinks you’re worth it, but it can also be him tipping his hand of having deep feelings for you.

4. He Wants to Spend the Holidays With You

The holidays are basically normal interactions on steroids. It is not just, “Let’s meet my parents for dinner.”

The holidays can involve way more intimate gatherings where connections are formed, and lifelong memories are often made.

If he wants you to share these experiences, he can be showing he wants you to be involved in his life in the present and long term.

5. He Talks About the Future Using “Us” or “We” Language

Couple Cuddling
If he includes you in conversations about his future, he likely wants you around for good.

When you first start dating someone, there is a period of time where you still think of yourself as the individual. Over time, it can shift to thinking about yourself AND your partner.

When you deeply care about someone, you think about your future with them in it. I am working with a couple who has gotten back together after spending almost 18 months apart.

They said even when they were broken up, they could not imagine their future without the other person. They both said that was when they realized they still loved each other.

If he is talking about the future and is using the words “us” and “we,” he is envisioning a life where he does not want to be without you.

This same sentiment is true if he’s open to talks about getting married, too.

6. He Does Things for You to Alleviate Stress

He goes out of his way to make things more comfortable for you, especially when you have a lot on your plate. Most partners who care about someone do not like to see them struggle.

When he goes beyond that and takes action to HELP you feel less stress (i.e., running errands for you, cooking dinner, turn on your favorite movie, etc.), it illustrates he cares for you on a deep level.

7. He Takes Care of You When You Are Sick

Man Taking Care of Sick Woman
No one is their most attractive – or in the best of moods – when they’re not feeling well. If he still chooses to take care of you during times of illness, that’s a major sign of love and caring.

Let’s all be honest; no one is super attractive when sick. Being sick also puts people in a very vulnerable state that is difficult to share with someone else.

People joke that when your guy holds your hair back while you throw up in a toilet or bucket, you have a keeper.

I knew a couple where the girlfriend was ordered on bed rest for a week in a college dorm room where she had no cable (I know! Insult to injury, am I right?!).

The boyfriend brought movies and snacks every day between his classes. He wanted to help the girl that he admitted, several months later, he loved.

8. He Tells You He Appreciates You

Being grateful and telling someone “thank you” is one thing, but truly appreciating someone can hit on a deeper level.

If he is telling you he appreciates you, not only is he revealing how he feels, but he also is sharing because he wants you to feel good too.

9. He Tells You He Is Proud of You

Similar to the one above, telling you he is proud of you is communicating how he feels. Your actions and the kind of person you are have impacted him and created stronger feelings towards you.

By communicating his feelings, he is also going out of his way to share them to make you feel good.

10. He Does Things You Want to Do Even if They Don’t Appeal to Him

Man Watching Woman Work
If he loves you, he will want to spend as much time with you as he can – even if you’re working on a project.

Men all over the world have likely gone to great lengths to show someone their love and affection.

It is one of the classic television/film tropes where the guy who is in love with a girl will sit through something they hate just to be with said girl.

At the end of the day, he will be willing to do something he is less interested in and enjoy it because he gets to spend it with you. Those experiences are more enjoyable for him because he loves to be with you.

11. He Listens to You

You may feel he is a good listener, but what really says how he feels are the things he remembers when it seems like he might not be listening.

It might be him getting you the computer case you said you needed several months ago, mentioning off-hand that your comforter needs to be cleaned, or asking about a co-worker you talked about having surgery.

Noticing those little details become more important to you when you are in love with someone. It shows he is really listening and being attentive.

12. He Prioritizes You and Your Relationship

If you want to know what someone’s priorities are, look at where they spend their time.

For example, if I had a current daily log of my life, my priorities would probably be: exercise, work, take care of the kids, and watch the new season of Ted Lasso (which should be your next priority after reading this article).

This concept is fairly straightforward. If he puts you near the top of his priority list, you can assume he really cares for you.

When you love someone, you make sure they are a priority in your life.

13. You Catch Him Looking at You

Man Admiring Woman
If his eyes light up the moment he sees you, he’s surely developed some deep feelings.

It is like you are in your own rom-com! Those little looks across the room and turning back to look at each other as you walk away are actually not a thing of fiction!

Seriously, you might catch him looking at you across the room as you talk to a friend or the sweet smile he gives when you look over after something has made you laugh.

Those looks are one of joy and admiration and can be signs of his deep affection.

14. He Finds You Attractive in the Less Than Attractive Moments

I am not referring to the times where you get dressed up in that dress that accentuates you in all the right ways.

I am not referring to those times after you finish fixing your hair and doing your makeup and think, “Girl, you look good.”

I am referring to those times after you hit the gym real hard and have the pit stains and red face going.

I am referring to those times where you have just woken up, and your hair is a hot mess, and the mascara under your eyes makes you look like your half dead.

In those less than attractive moments, if he looks at you with that same admiration and tells you how pretty you are, then you know he loves you. Or, at the very least, he likes you a lot!

15. He Goes out of His Way to Pick You up When You Are Down

Man Comforting Woman
Going out of his way to help you through difficult times means he truly cares about your happiness.

It is simple. Your significant other loves to see you happy. In those moments when you are down, it can be difficult for him because he will likely want to make it better for you.

A guy who goes out of his way to check on you and lift your spirits is a guy who really cares about your happiness.

16. He Encourages You to Go After What Is Important to You

This one can be very telling. It can include smaller goals like running a few times a week or volunteering once a month at your local animal shelter.

A guy who supports your goals likely cares deeply for you. However, something very telling is a guy who supports your goals even if that means it might take time away from him.

It shows he sees your dreams and your goals as of equal importance to his.

It shows a certain selflessness that can indicate he is falling in love with you because he is willing to sacrifice for what is important to you.

17. He Talks About You to Other People

Man Introducing Girlfriend to His Friends
Has he introduced you to his friends? If they already knew about you before the meeting, maybe he has already been gushing about you!

Sometimes, I work with clients who eventually want to bring their spouses into therapy. Usually, we have invited them because it can help bring new perspectives and aid in our work together.

Whenever I meet the spouse, I frequently share how happy I am to meet them and that I have heard so many good things about them.

It is true! And, I want them to know that. I want them to know how their spouse talks about them when they are not around.

The hope is that it helps them feel good about themselves to hear that they have spoken highly of them in a space where their significant other can say anything.

If his friends, family, or co-workers mention how much he talks about you or how highly he speaks of you, it is a big deal! It means even when you are not around, he cannot help but gush over you.

18. He is Almost Always Happy to See You

It is important to pay attention to what he says, but his actions can be very telling.

Whenever you go to a wedding, who do you look at when the bride enters the room?

In the movie 27 Dresses, the main character talks about how she always looks at the groom “cause his face says it all you know?”

To be honest, that is where I look as well. For that brief moment, you see the emotion and the joy the love brings out of him.

If you see his face light up when you walk into the room, or he almost seems giddy when you come home after a long day, it shows he feels deeply connected to you.

19. He Knows the Little Things About You

Couple on Starbucks Date
Does he already know your usual Starbucks order by heart? Learning the little things about you means that he desires to know you on a more intimate level.

This might seem obvious, but honestly, it can be easy to miss if we are not looking for it. You want him to know the little things about you.

If you have ever seen the rom-com Win a Date with Tad Hamilton, you know what I am talking about.

The best guy friend (but soon to be true love) of the female lead gives an impassioned speech about how she has six different smiles and lists what all of them are.

It is one of those super romantic moments in a rom-com that has everyone in the audience screaming at the female lead, “You need to be with this guy!”

When your significant other knows the little details about you, it means he not only notices you, but he actually cares to notice those things.

He shows he is observant, and he desires to know you on a more intimate level.

20. He Does His Best to Ensure You See Each Other (or at Least Talk) Everyday

A lot of this depends on everyone’s individual situation because it might not be reasonable or even feasible to talk or see each other every day. What you want to look for is the effort.

Does he make an effort to talk to you or see you?

If he has deep feelings towards you, he will want to touch base as frequently as possible. It might be a simple text to say, “Hey, I hope you’re having a good day.”

Whatever it is, he will reach out and contact you, illustrating how important you are to him.

Wrapping Up Signs He Loves You

Couple Maintaining Close Eye Contact
Try not to over-analyze everything he does or rush the relationship. While you’re gauging his feelings, be sure to enjoy the present state of your relationship as it grows.

Women are always looking for those signs or tells from a guy that reveal he is into them or not.

While you do not want to over-analyze everything he does, there are certainly signs that indicate he is likely falling for you.

If you are wondering, “Where is this relationship going?” or “Is he falling for me?”, these signs can start pointing to that neon sign that says “I love you.”

Thank goodness you no longer have to turn to the flower petal game “He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not”! His actions will be able to tell a lot in terms of how he feels towards you.

While you can never be sure until he actually utters the “L” word, you can find peace and comfort that your relationship is moving in that direction.

It can make that dance of gauging his movements, attempting to meet vulnerability with vulnerability a little less uncertain.

And, hopefully, soon, you will finally hear those three words you have been hoping to hear.

Photo of author

Michelle Overman, LMFT

Michelle is licensed by the state of Texas as a Marriage and Family Therapist. Over her time in the field, she has helped couples understand the inhibiting patterns within their relationships and overcome those difficulties by creating more connection and vulnerability.

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