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17 Revealing Signs She Doesn’t Love You Anymore [According to Experts]

Do you dream about the days when your partner was happy, eager to see you, and passionate?

The two of you were blissfully happy and madly in love. Now, it seems like you’re doing all the work to sustain your relationship – and she just doesn’t seem to care anymore.

People fall in and out of love with each other throughout the course of relationships because there are so many variables and conditions that affect romantic connections.

Love alone isn’t enough to sustain a relationship.

It takes commitment, hard work, time, effort, and lots of nurturing and attention.

There’s no getting around the fact that people do fall out of love with each other. It’s painful when it happens. You wouldn’t wish that kind of emotional pain or trauma on to your worst enemy.

Because it’s a common occurrence, the best you can do if it happens to you is move on with your life. But you don’t have to sit around and wait for your girl to dump you!

The earlier you can spot problems in your relationship and signs she is no longer in love with you, the easier it will be for you to move on from the relationship.

If you can identify early signs of your partner falling out of love with you, you can be proactive and decide what you need to do.

Whether she’s your girlfriend or your wife, life can become pretty bleak if she has stopped loving you. You might feel depressed, anxious, or uneasy.

You might not know what to do, and you might be unsure if she has fallen out of love with you. The more she pulls away, the tighter you might be holding on. Perhaps you’re asking yourself the following questions:

  • What did I do to make her fall out of love with me?
  • Is she seeing another guy?
  • Is this all in my head, or is our relationship in trouble?
  • Am I trying too hard and making her pull away even more?
  • Is there still a chance to patch things up?
  • Did she ever love me?
  • Am I still in love with her?

You’ll be relieved to know there are definite signs to look out for that you are no longer the love of her life. Most important: trust your instincts – they are rarely wrong.

Read on for the 17 signs to look out for to know if she is no longer in love with you anymore!

1. Communication Just Isn’t Happening

Woman Ignoring Man
If she seems to be tuning you out when you try to express your feelings and concerns, she may no longer be in love with you.

Perhaps your partner has stopped talking to you – about anything.

Does she seem shut down and utterly uninterested in talking to you?

She might respond to your questions but offer nothing more.

Communication is the basis for all relationships, and when communication dries up, you can be sure there is a problem.

2. She’s Avoiding You

If a woman is in love with you, she will want to spend time with you. She’ll initiate conversations, want to make plans, ask you to hang out, and show interest in what you’re doing.

She doesn’t have to be in contact 24/7, but she’ll prioritize your company over doing other things most of the time – and that’s how it should be!

If she constantly comes up with excuses not to spend time with you, there’s a good chance she doesn’t love you anymore. And an excellent chance she’s prioritizing someone else over you.

You might think if she texts you constantly, she’s showing she’s interested. She might enjoy talking to you, but that doesn’t mean she’s all that into you.

If she avoids meeting up and engaging with you on an intimate level, then you’re just one of her buddies.

3. She Criticizes You

Do you feel like you can’t do or say anything right?

If your partner complains about you all the time (and this has been going on for a while), you must examine yourself and take responsibility for your part.

However, if you determine she’s just on a criticism binge, and there’s nothing that will please her, this is a sign she doesn’t love you.

When a woman checks out from a relationship, she’ll try to find more reasons not to be with you. She might not be doing this intentionally.

If she’s no longer attracted to you, all the quirks she used to like are suddenly annoying qualities she wants you to change. All the activities she enjoyed doing with you are now taking up too much of her time.

4. The Respect Is Gone

Woman Yelling At Man
If she consistently disrespects your feelings, wishes, rights, values, ethics, morals, and traditions – she doesn’t love you.

If you want to know if your partner loves you (or ever did!), consider how much respect she has for you.

She shows respect when she exhibits genuine, honest, and sustained regard for your feelings, wishes, rights, values, ethics, morals, and traditions.

If she loves you, she will always respect these qualities and never cross your boundaries. If you look at love and attraction from a woman’s perspective, it’s more about respect than it is about love.

Are women attracted to men they don’t respect?

No.

If you don’t have self-respect and healthy boundaries, or you’re terrified of loss and rejection, your woman won’t be attracted to youand probably won’t love you.

You might just get icy apathy and indifference, which shows up as flakiness, one-word texts, a short attention span, and pecks on the cheek.

5. Was It Just Infatuation?

Initially, she was probably infatuated with you, and that feeling can last a long time. Infatuation isn’t love because it isn’t sustainable.

For example, initially, if you have different values, she may pretend that she has the same values as you. Eventually, she won’t be able to keep up the charade.

Once she is comfortable with you, you’ll notice inconsistencies. Even if she was on her “best behavior” to impress you, soon enough, the act will crumble.

Consider this: Maybe she was never genuinely in love with you. Instead, she simply stopped pretending to respect your feelings, wishes, rights, values, ethics, morals, and traditions.

Maybe she loved the idea of loving you, but that doesn’t last.

6. This Is a Pattern

Ladies Having Lunch
If you have a trusting relationship with any of her friends or family members, consider asking them about her relationship history for clues about what’s going on now.

If possible, ask friends or family members about her relationship history, and explore how she conducted herself in the past (including exes).

You might discover disturbing behavior patterns that will prompt you to end things with her. Now, this step might not be possible, but it’s worth looking at her past relationships to see if there are patterns.

7. She Asks for a Break

The number one mistake you can make if your partner asks for a break is to go along with it.

You might think giving her time and space is what she needs, but what ends up happening is the break is just an excuse to cushion the breakup.

The worst part is, the “break” is probably an excuse to see other guys and line up a replacement.

Remember – no woman will ever want to take a break from a relationship she truly wants unless she has an excellent reason to do so. That reason might be that she no longer loves you.

8. She Just Doesn’t Care

If you’ve had bad breakups and rocky relationships in the past, you know what a toxic connection feels like – constant arguing, cruel insults, and (maybe) passionate makeup sex.

You might have felt betrayed, inadequate, and disappointed. This is not a fun experience! Unfortunately, couples do this when they haven’t dealt with their baggage or healed emotional wounds. 

If she no longer cares, she probably:

  • has checked out emotionally (and in most other ways)
  • ignores most of what you say
  • no longer compliments you
  • makes lots of excuses
  • just generally avoids you
  • seems irritable and annoyed most of the time
  • avoids eye contact
  • is uninterested in sex
  • gives you one-word answers
  • offers quick pecks on the cheek
  • is icy and indifferent

Maybe your partner is behaving this way because she is depressed or has a problem completely unrelated to you. So, this situation might not be your fault, but denying or ignoring her behavior won’t change things.

9. She Has Lots of New Guy Friends

Woman Hanging Out With Group of Men
Becoming closer with male friends, and attracting new ones, is a sign that she’s seeking some type of fulfillment from outside of the relationship.

If your partner is getting closer and closer to male friends (and seemingly attracting them like flies to honey), there’s a reason for that.

Women typically adore male attention – platonic or otherwise – because it boosts their self-esteem and confidence.

Obviously, men and women can be close friends without romance, but if your partner spends a lot of energy with guy friends – it’s a red flag.

Even if she never cheats, she’s clearly seeking emotional validation, attention, and connection that she isn’t feeling with you.

DON’T turn into a jealous control freak or interrogate her. Just be aware that something might be up.

10. She’s Spending More Time With the Girls

Perhaps your partner is spending more and more time hanging out with her girlfriends. Of course, you’re happy she has her own life and interests, and there’s nothing wrong with her spending time with her girls.

She should maintain a healthy circle of girlfriends for the kind of emotional support and entertainment you don’t provide as a man, and it’s essential you encourage her to spend time with girlfriends and nurture those relationships.

These relationships can become a problem when her friends are toxic. They might influence her in negative ways – especially if alcohol is involved.

Is she influenced by their beliefs, choices, or habits?

Possibly.

She might even be trash-talking you and using them to vent about how awful you are. She might be lured in by the illusion of freedom she’s experiencing partying with her girlfriends.

You can’t forbid her to have her own social life! Just be aware that if she’s spending more and more time with girlfriends and seems sulky and put off when she’s with you – it’s a sign she’s no longer in love with you.

11. She Avoids Most Physical Touch

Woman Pushing Man Away
If she pushes you away, acts annoyed, or looks disgusted during physical intimacy, she likely no longer loves you and is no longer attracted to you.

If you touch your partner, does she act annoyed?

Does she act like sex is an unpleasant chore?

Has she stopped touching you?

If your partner avoids your touch or touching you, it’s a sure sign she’s just not into you anymore and that your relationship may possibly be coming to an end.

12. She Flirts With Other Guys

If she’s cold and indifferent with you but sweet and seductive with other men – this is a red flag! Perhaps she’s playing games to get your attention or make you jealous, but if that is the case:

  • Why are you with her?!
  • Where do you draw the line?

Maybe it turns you on to watch her seduce other men. If not, then her behavior probably makes you angry, disgusted, jealous, and uncomfortable. And these are normal reactions!

The problem is if you get upset and call her out, she might accuse you of being controlling or insecure. This situation is one game you’re probably going to lose – and it’s a sure sign she’s not in love with you.

Think about it – how would she react if you were flirting with other women?

It’s time to move on because she doesn’t love you anymore.

13. She’s Much More Independent Than She Used to Be

She is letting you know that she doesn’t need you. She wants her own life and space.

When she loves you, she wants your help and advice – even if it is unneeded or unnecessary, she’ll allow you to support her in those ways. She appreciates your support.

If she’s fallen out of love with you, she’ll act annoyed when you give her advice. Perhaps she’ll interpret every comment you make negatively.

14. She Avoids Discussions of Your Future Together

Woman Ignoring Man Trying to Talk to Her
If she seems to disengage and distract herself when you try to talk about the future, it’s possible that she doesn’t want to plan a future with you.

When you bring up plans for the future or even talk about getting married, she now seems annoyed, disinterested, or simply disengaged.

Before, she loved making plans with you, and she contributed her thoughts. She was interested, excited, and attentive.

If she’s not in love with you, all she’ll feel is tension – or even revulsion – when discussing the future with you. You’ll see it on her face.

15. It’s All About Her

If your partner was always a bit “me first,” you may not notice a shift and attribute the change to her having a bad week. But if it’s all her, all the time, it can be a lot more than a temporary problem.

She just may look at you as no longer part of the equation. You just don’t matter.

And really – do you want to be with a woman who is self-centered at best or narcissistic at worst?

16. She Cheats on You

If she’s been unfaithful, there’s an excellent possibility she doesn’t love you anymore. It’s probably definitely the case because women tend to cheat when they’re not in love anymore.

Cheating is a loud and clear message that she doesn’t love you anymore.

17. You Just Know

Depressed Man Contemplating Decisions
After you’ve contemplated all of the key points in this article, you must learn to listen to your instincts and intuition. Where do you feel that this relationship is truly headed? Is there anything you can do to change the course?

Ignore the excuses you’re telling yourself to make your relationship seem better than it is. Ignore your partner’s excuses.

Take note of all the obvious signs you’re afraid to deal with because it might seem “easier” to stick it out. Forget about all the justifications and take a look at her actions.

What do you see, and what is your gut telling you?

When your instincts try to reach out and tell you things aren’t working, you might rationalize your inner voice and overthink or analyze the situation in your head. Your brain will make up all kinds of excuses.

Maybe, things have declined so slowly that it might be hard to notice how bad things truly are! But if your intuition is whispering that your partner doesn’t love you anymore, listen.

Don’t overthink, and instead, watch her actionsthen you’ll have the clear answer that has been in front of you all along. 

Wrapping Up

Now you’re equipped with knowing the signs that your partner no longer loves you.

If she checked out long ago, there probably isn’t much you can do other than end the relationship before you get dumped – or cheated on and then dumped.

Ultimately it’s going to be up to you whether or not you want to try to change things for the better. And instead of trying to fix this broken relationship, focus on what you can do.

As painful as it is, your partner’s love for you has vanished, and it’s time for you to move on.

Now that you know all the warning signs of your woman no longer loving you, you can stop the endless worry, self-blame, or misery and focus on moving forward.

Falling into a negative hole, beating yourself up, or getting depressed won’t fix things with your partner.

No more arguing or begging. No more emotional reactions or desperate attempts to save the relationship. You don’t need your partner’s approval – it’s time for you to act in your best interests.

You probably know what you need to do. 

There’s no need to be cruel or cold (even though she’s treated you poorly), but you have to become independent enough to seek out what’s best for you. Gain back your self-respect and confidence.

And next time, make sure the woman you get serious with genuinely respects everything about you as a person, accepts you as you are, and doesn’t try to change you or force things on you.

You’ll attract a woman who will love you – without the games.

Photo of author

Angela Doel

Angela M. Doel has researched and written about mental health problems that impact relationships, such as navigating divorce, rebuilding relationships, enhancing communication, and overcoming sex addiction. She published The Couples Communication Workbook: Therapeutic Homework Assignments to Foster Supportive Relationships (2020, Between Sessions Resources, Inc.).

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