Home » Marriage Help » Relationship » Why do Men Cheat?

Why do Men Cheat?

Both men and women cheat, although for different reasons. And they often provide a variety of reasons for their actions. However, there’s a prevalent assumption that men have a natural propensity for infidelity. Men make several justifications to validate their cheating behavior, but it doesn’t mean they aren’t worth questioning. Here are eight key reasons why men cheat:

  • Unrealistic expectations
  • Sexual addiction
  • Alcohol/drug abuse
  • Insecurities
  • He wants out
  • Poor judgment
  • Lack of emotional intimacy
  • Emotional immaturity

He Wants a Breakup

A woman may think that the relationship or marriage is wonderful. However, the man may disagree but lacks the courage to tell his partner. One of the reasons why married men cheat is because it works as a motivator for transformation. Some individuals need this drive to exit problematic relationships. Consider it the apex of the “it’s not you, it’s me” fallacy.

Bad Judgment and Poor Willpower

If your relationship is unhealthy, you are more likely to place yourself in a position where infidelity may occur.

People who show dedication and satisfaction in their primary relationship will avoid situations such as having a happy hour with that attractive new accounting colleague.

There is an issue if he frequently chooses to participate in dangerous circumstances.

Unmet Needs

Get your mind out of the gutter; we’re not discussing sex behavior. It is the accumulation of a succession of little deeds performed over time. For instance, his spouse hadn’t complimented him in a long time, but maybe someone liked his new hairstyle.

Perhaps there had been fighting for many weeks. It’s possible that the last time he and his partner laughed together was a long time ago. He may also feel ignored, lack sexual satisfaction, or he’s in a sexless marriage.

Whatever the cause, there is a flaw in the relationship that has exacerbated the emotional distance. And instead of confronting the issue, one’s mind drifts to another individual.

However, he must also be a communicative partner. It is not your responsibility to read his mind. If he has difficulty expressing his aspirations and ambitions, he may need the assistance of a therapist to determine why.


Men cheat because they lack the maturity to devote the time, dedication, and effort to address the root causes of their relationships’ problems. These men often engage in acts detrimental to their families, significant others, and themselves—at least some of them.

People cheat when they have a strong predisposition toward carelessness. Men considering having an emotional affair should think if it is worth hurting or losing the people they profess to love the most.

Stress or Depression

Anxiety and depression symptoms occur in everyone at some point in their lives. The question is whether they are the source of cheating. A guy may cheat if he feels lonely in his relationship, undermined in some manner, or irritated with his spouse.

He may opt to pursue another woman to drown his sorrows. However, knowing that lying exacerbates already existing sadness and concern is critical.

He Has Psychopathic or Narcissistic Traits

Most men don’t just intend to lie to or hurt their spouses. They may be egocentric, have a personality condition, have childhood trauma, or generally show narcissistic traits. They are in charge of dealing with whatever the cause is. This guy will injure every love partner he has till this occurs.

A dishonest person may have trouble with empathy. They do not consider how their decisions affect the individuals they care about. Being wary of such people would be best since you might hurt yourself.

He Has Sexual Problems

Research shows that men prone to erectile problems are more likely to commit infidelity. Everything boils down to a need for approval. Is he less of a man since he can’t be better with his significant other?

Seeking a sexual relationship with a new person is a simple method to deal with feelings of inadequacy.

He May Be a Sex Addict

True sex addicts are pretty uncommon. Dopamine receptors, the brain’s pleasure center, are usually stimulated during sex. It may also be addictive, like dopamine-enhancing medicines like cocaine or heroin.

For some individuals, sexual desire may activate dopamine more than other stimuli.

Perhaps, He is Experiencing “Second Adolescence”

Do you feel your boyfriend constantly refers to you as his mother? Is he attempting to avoid you by staying out late? Unfortunately, this is a possibility, and it may result in wandering. Some guys cheat because they are having a second childhood.

They “parent” their spouse by working behind their partner’s back and breaking the “guidelines” of a committed relationship.

These second-generation children demand a reassuring presence at home while desiring seclusion and individuation.


Many men may begin to feel elderly and concerned that there’s a limit to their days of adventure. As a result, men want a spouse who will restore their feeling of vigor and freshness. Male egos need massages.

Men cheat, believing they are the most stunning after each new “conquest.” But the moment the new conqueror complains about anything, his doubts resurface, compelling him to seek another win.

Because of this, men lie. On the surface, he seems confident and even pompous. He is, nonetheless, driven by low self-esteem.

He May Not Support the Concept of a Monogamous Relationship

Some individuals believe that monogamous partnerships are impossible. You could be dating someone who doesn’t consider themselves “naturally monogamous.”

They are most likely unable or unwilling to mate with one partner when they claim this. They may be telling the truth; they may not be suitable for monogamy.

You may seek methods to enhance your relationship, as some individuals do after facing deception. However, there is a catch.

Specific individuals, particularly victims, may see an open relationship as purposeful infidelity. It is not available if the unfaithful party wants to continue the relationship.

It is not an open relationship if it provides nothing more than a pretense to continue seeing your affair partner. Infidelity contradicts the honesty and trust that are the bedrock of genuine relationships.

An Ex-Partner Came Back

When things are difficult, we tend to overlook the positive aspects of our current relationship. And we remember that spark when an ex reappears.

He is therefore neglecting both the positive aspects of his current relationship and the negative aspects of his previous one, which most likely had a factor in his choice to terminate it in the first place. This is a tragedy waiting to happen.

Now that you know why men cheat, you must seek to preserve your marriage or relationship by addressing the fundamental issues. You have few options if your spouse is actively seeking to split from you or damage you.

However, if you understand what a wonderful person your spouse is, you should work to strengthen your relationship and admiration for him.

A rational man would not want to destroy a relationship that provides him with all these benefits and more.

Frequently Asked Questions

People also ask:

Why do Guys Cheat Even If They Love You?

A guy might be unfaithful even if they care for their partner. They may behave this way if their emotional needs are not satisfied, they have poor self-esteem, or they have significant difficulties in their relationship or lives. They may find it simpler to cheat than to express their emotions.

What is the Main Cause of Cheating?

One of the most prevalent motivations for disloyalty is a sense of drifting away from one’s relationship. It doesn’t matter whether it’s online cheating or physical affairs.

Trying something fresh and exciting may look like an opportunity when your relationship develops into a routine.

Can a Man Love You and Still Cheat?

Your spouse most certainly loves you, has in the past, and will still love you in the future. Cheating in a relationship doesn’t mean that you never existed.

In reality, infidelity occurs in happy relationships. There are no unique emotional or sexual needs that must exist to cheat on your spouse.

Why Would Someone Cheat on Someone they Love?

Cheating on a loved one might result from neglect, commitment, self-esteem difficulties, a lack of connection, or even retribution. Someone who has previously cheated is likelier to practice future infidelity, albeit this is not always true.

However, unfaithfulness does not necessarily indicate the end of a partnership. You can repair your sexual behavior and relationship after an affair.

Photo of author

Lana Smith

I am a relationship coach. My passion is helping couples make their relationships work. I earned my bachelor's degree and hold a Master of Science in Education. I take my inspiration from watching and listening to people every day. . I do extensive research and love to compare the opinions of experts to help form my own. I have spent years learning about the dynamics of relationships and what makes them work. My goal is to apply what I have learned in the classroom and through experience to help others.