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How To Quickly Win Your Wife Back From Another Man

Love triangles are a common theme in the world of entertainment.

Novels, movies, and television shows have perfected the tale of two men bravely fighting for the affection of one woman or two women ferociously competing for the heart of one man.

Authors, filmmakers, and television producers astutely understand the love triangle’s allure in that it engages audiences to choose and root for one relationship.

Furthermore, classic movies such as “Gone With the Wind,” “The Graduate,” and “Titanic” proved that conventional endings are not always guaranteed. Unfortunately, love triangles are much less entertaining when they are unwelcome and present themselves in real life.

If an unsolicited third party enters your marriage and captures your wife’s attention, it can be terrifying and disheartening. Thankfully, this does not have to be the point of no return, as there are several things that you can do to win your wife back from another man.

My Wife Left Me for Another Man…Will She Come Back?

My wife left me for another man. Will she come back?

When a spouse strays from marriage or becomes involved with a third party, the relationship is usually already fractured, troubled, and unfulfilling. Partners often feel unloved and insignificant and like their emotional and physical needs are not being met.

The prospect of her return will significantly depend on your understanding of why she left and your ability and commitment to change yourself and the overall relationship. It is important to note that marriages do not become instantly fractured and thus cannot be repaired overnight.  If your wife left for another man, achieving a resolution would likely take some time.

Understanding Why Your Wife Left

It is vital to understand why your wife sought solace in another man.

Perhaps you were aware of the cracks forming at the foundation of your relationship but did not know how to address them or were too sad to face them. You possibly avoided important topics because you feared starting yet another fight.

Maybe you were too comfortable or busy with other responsibilities to notice how fractured the relationship was. Regardless of your overall awareness or motivation, it is critical to comprehend your wife’s reasoning for straying.

Was your wife actively seeking out another companion or partner, or did she haphazardly fall into a friendship that unexpectedly blossomed into a relationship? Was she looking for love and support, or was she keenly attempting to meet her physical needs?

Talking to Your Wife About Why She Left

How do I get my wife to help me understand why she left

It is safe to assume that communication is severely splintered when a spouse emotionally or physically retreats from a marriage. If contact is broken, your wife may not want to provide her reasoning for leaving.

Your wife may feel you will fail to care or understand her motives. In these circumstances, it is essential to be clear with authentic intent to listen while your wife shares.

She may be wary of your reaction, especially if you have been prone to angry or aggressive outbursts.  Staying calm and avoiding interruption, criticism, or hurtful comments is critical.

Let your wife know that you would genuinely like to understand her perspective with the hope that you can be afforded an opportunity to improve.

Help your wife understand that you cannot fix something you didn’t know was broken. If your wife is too angry or has difficulty with verbal expression, encourage her to write her feelings instead.

What to do After You Understand WHY She Left for Another Man

Once your wife has delineated reasons for straying, it is up to you to decide how you want to move forward. You must first improve and strengthen yourself to repair the marriage and win back her heart.

A relationship is healthy only when both individuals are whole themselves.  Determine if you are happy in all areas of your life. Commit to changing your priorities, time management, or general positioning if you are unhappy with your preferences.

If you are open to it, professional assistance could provide added support, perspective, and guidance in your journey forward.

If you are unhappy in your career or finances, consider switching jobs, returning to school, or learning a trade. If your wife perceives you as inattentive, make it a priority to alter your work schedule and personal responsibilities to be emotionally and physically present more often.

If you are unhappy or self-conscious about your appearance, commit to losing weight by joining a gym or seeing a nutritionist. If you have difficulty communicating your feelings, be reflective and open to emotional vulnerability.

Once your feet are securely planted on the path of personal fulfillment, you can share your changes and improvements with your wife. Your commitment to self-improvement will also show her that you are genuinely committed to the relationship.

Additionally, it will show you listened to her concerns and will make her feel heard and validated. If she is open, share what you need, starting with an honest commitment to terminate contact with the third party.

What to do When Your Wife Has Left And Developed Feelings for Another Man

When a spouse drifts from the marriage, it is essential to consider the type of extramarital affair that she is engaged in.

Is she engaged in a physical, emotional, or relationship with elements of both? It can be devastating to consider the possibility that your spouse has feelings for another man. However, the reality is that some level of connection had to have existed for the relationship to form in the first place.

Whether the relationship was initiated quickly with physical attraction or grew slowly from emotional attention, it is safe to assume that your wife has feelings for her paramour.

What remains variable is the degree and intensity of those feelings, along with your wife’s intent on what to do with them.

Maintain Patience and Foster Optimism

Once your wife understands your intent, commitment, and desire to repair the marriage, you will be forced to wait as she contemplates her feelings and decides on her following action.

This waiting period can be excruciating, as the future of your relationship appears to hang perilously in the balance. During this time, it is imperative to maintain patience, as applying pressure will only cause your wife to feel more stress and anxiety.

In addition, you do not want to incur the negative perception of being too pushy or manipulative, which may cause your spouse to retreat further from your marriage. Attempt to maintain positivity and optimism while you patiently await her decision.

Try to foster confidence while allowing her space to sort through her feelings for you and her paramour.

How to Survive While Your Wife Works Through Her Feelings

It is inherently challenging to feel powerless and out of control in any situation, but it is especially grueling concerning your marriage. As is true in life, you can never control another person or a situation that involves another person, but you can always maintain control over yourself.

It can be helpful to maintain your sanity with stress reduction and anxiety management techniques. Meditation, mindfulness, and yoga are worthwhile activities that foster serenity, focus, and emotional well-being.

These techniques assist individuals in breathing deeply while focusing on the present moment. These interventions will help you pass the time and offer stress reduction and personal growth opportunities.

Journaling is another self-awareness practice to help process your feelings.

Learn How to Balance Space and Communication Effectively

It is important to note that you do not want to “go ghost” while your wife goes through this process. While allowing her space with no pressure, it is equally important to maintain a quiet presence by letting her know you are still there.

Plan to meet up or speak on the phone to have fun and enjoy each other’s company. Take special care to avoid any difficulties or emotionally charged topics.  The focus should be on fun, light-hearted conversation, and dating.

How to Get Your Wife to Fall in Love With You Again

Assuming all goes well, your wife will commit to cease the third-party relationship and give your marriage another shot.  You both understand precipitating factors that led to the breakdown in your marriage and are aware of each other’s expectations in moving forward.

You have committed to making changes and improving yourself while learning how to manage stress and anxiety appropriately.  Now what? How do you add romance to your relationship and get your wife to fall in love with you again?

Take comfort in that your wife fell in love with you once and can easily do so again with helpful reminders.

Cherish Her by Making Her a Priority

Before the third-party relationship, chances are, your wife and your marriage were not your top priority.  Perhaps you took your wedding for granted, thinking that your wife would always be there.

Maybe you became complacent or were too tired to put in the extra effort.  Whatever the reason, it is essential to prioritize your marriage moving forward.  Your wife should feel cherished, meaningful, and valued.

You need to be emotionally and physically present and pledge to listen by truly hearing her.  You will need to learn how to balance your career, family of origin, children, finances, and other day-to-day stressors with the needs of your marriage.

Consider Couples Counseling

You two have been through hell and back and may be unsure of the best ways to move forward. Maybe you are afraid of making the same mistakes or hurting each other again.

Or worse, maybe you are afraid that you will not be able to foster continued growth in the marriage. Professional counseling would provide you and your wife with a safe and secure environment to process feelings and heal from old wounds.

You would have a forum to discuss complex topics and a place to improve connection. A marital counselor could assist you in rebuilding connection and intimacy via exercises at home and during sessions.

Additionally, you and your spouse would obliterate outside distractions by guaranteeing yourselves at least one hour per week to focus solely on your marriage.

Couples counseling would allow for reflection on your past and the resurrection of positive memories, thus reminding your wife why she fell in love with you in the first place. These romantic reminders could facilitate falling in love again.

Have Fun and Enjoy Each Other

Simply stated, falling in love cannot occur without fun, laughter, and play. The burdensome demands of life and everyday responsibilities must be counteracted with pure, infectious joy.

Make it a point to be spontaneous and to play often. Plan dates out to the theater, amusement park, or museum. Consider planning intimate dates, such as movie night, puzzle, or a bubble bath together. Tell jokes, be silly, and be open to new experiences.  Make it a daily goal to laugh, share, and build new memories together.


As Hollywood portrays, movies often conclude with a resolution to the love triangle plotline. Sometimes these endings are predictable and satisfying, while others are unpredictable and messy.

Occasionally, couples are reunited, and sometimes not, whether they are parted by the third side of the triangle or by some other inexplicable factor.

Regardless, whatever the outcome, these movies depict resilient characters with full capability to move forward. Take comfort in that your story plays out; you are resilient and can write your ending.

Photo of author

Tracy Smith, LPC, NCC, ACS

Tracy Smith, LPC, NCC, ACS is a Licensed Professional Counselor in New Jersey, a Nationally Certified Counselor, an Approved Clinical Supervisor, and a mental health freelance writer. Tracy has fourteen years of clinical and supervisory experience in a variety of mental health settings and levels of care.

4 thoughts on “How To Quickly Win Your Wife Back From Another Man”

  1. We moved country to largely retire,and just gig as a duo,true we had problems over the years,nearly splitting,but the music rekindled us,the last 5 months in the UK was stressful,keeping our life going right up to the point of travel,and a huge task of emptying the house we sold,purchasing this place,and preparing for our new life,.

    When we got here,it was partly a Phew we have done it,but a whole new set of problems,I felt give it time we would overcome them,go through the transitional period,and lead the idyllic life we had planned,

    But my wife got close and besotted to one of our new friends and wanted to throw everything away,she saw him twice,he didn’t want her,and dumped her,then we had 3 months of lockdown together I thought we’d fix it,but after adding so many new friends,singles Male and female,on FB,she found a place and moved out,rekindled with him after a further two months,but he was very hot n cold,and dumped her twice again,that was two months ago,she has moved back in,but only for our finances that had spiralled out of control,she doesn’t want a full relationship,with anyone,but him.we are getting on great,but there is little resentments and a little nastiness that comes out,but I handle it calmly and seem to diffuse with a bit of logical dialogue.she is out a lot with a set of friends she feels comfortable with as there is no likelihood of being hit on,she says she will never want to be full on with me again,but is willing to co habit for an unspecified time,as it really isn’t predictable when normal life and gigs will come back.and I have no idea where it will end,to top it all,I started seeing someone just before she split with him,and I have put her on hold,as to uncomplicate the situation at hand,it would be so easy to continue with our original plan here,but I really am not sure she will ever come around to thinking the same.

    • So 5 months on,still cohabiting,separate rooms,but I am spending a bit more time with her and her new friends,not quite as a couple,but her friends are helpful and seem sympathetic.and try to include me,we have other friends we did make as a couple when we first got here,so spend time with those too,our verbal exchanges are with some affection,no toxicity,and we are getting on great,there is still some unsaid stuff going on,as I know she still has resentments,we both do,but it would remain unresolved and undo a little of our progress to address things at this time.

  2. I need to know what to do when my wife is staying with her boyfriend and tells me that she is going to be back with me but when I try to call or message her she won’t talk to me what can I do to get her back with me

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